The Illusion of Opportunity
I used to have this flawed perception of opportunity: I had to accept whatever opportunity came my way. Otherwise I might not get another chance.
This girl is interested in me? Better start dating her.
This client wants to work with me? Better sign them.
This dude wants to be friends with me? Better suck his dick––I mean become friends with him.
I had a scarcity mindset.
“What if I never meet another woman like her?”
“What if I can’t pay rent next month?”
“What if I can’t find other friends?”
This compulsive need to take every opportunity that came my way was a result of not seeing myself accurately.
All the negative self-talk had convinced me that I didn’t deserve to be selective.
But I realized that this path would lead to a life of complacency. A life where I marry someone who’s good enough. Where I do work I resent. Where I play softball 4 nights a week and have fun by sitting around drinking alcohol with people I barely like.
Being selective has pushed a lot of people out of my life. But it’s also brought me closer to the people and creations I deeply care about.
I could have “made it work” with lots of different girlfriends, clients, creative projects, or potential friends.
But I don’t want most people and I don't want to create most things. Even if they want me.
[Illustration courtesy of: http://www.anxovizcaino.com/]