The Power of Complementary Opposites

A one-sided life leads to dis-ease. Too much laziness and you're living under a bridge. Not enough laziness and you're living alone in a gilded cage.

In the last month, I've created more than I ever have. With standup, books, my business, and more.

I attribute my progress to two things:

1. Relaxing my grip on one-sidedness in my life.

2. Integrating the power of complementary opposites.

I used to operate from a singular core belief: I believe in the life-changing power of bad first drafts. It wasn't until I recognized its complementary opposite––the life-defining power of revision––that my creative output flourished.

I've also coupled my more serious literary writing with its complementary opposite, standup comedy, and I became better at both.

I combined my tireless work ethic with doing nothing and deep relaxation, and I've actually been more productive. (It feels like I've been chilling for weeks on end, yet creations just happen. It's weird.)

In love, I have refused to settle for a buddy, partner, or best friend. Although that type of relationship can be complementary, it doesn't embody the opposition that creates sexual polarity. This isn't a simple matter of "opposites attract," or I'd choose a person who's nothing like me in every way. That is incomplete, black-and-white thinking. Instead, as in all complementary opposites, there is a corresponding essence of one in the other. So I seek to choose someone who shares certain core values with me, while still being my opposite elsewhere.

This dance between complementary opposites has helped me relax my anxious clutch on many old and no-longer-useful habits. As a result, I have created more, loved more, and been happier and sharper in the process.

What black-and-white thinking is keeping you from creating virtuous circles in your life?

[Illustration from: https://www.behance.net/rgbubbly]

The inspiration for this post comes from Carl Jung's Collected Works, Volume 9.1:

"There is no position without its negation. In spite or just because of their extreme opposition, neither can exist without the other. It is exactly as formulated in classical Chinese philosophy: yang (the light, warm, dry, masculine principle) contains within it the seed of yin (the dark, cold, moist, feminine principle), and vice versa. Matter therefore would contain the seed of spirit and spirt the seed of matter...With the decline of alchemy the symbolical unity of spirit and matter fell apart, with the result that modern man finds himself uprooted and alienated in a de-souled world.

"The alchemist saw the union of opposites under the symbol of the tree, and it is therefore not surprising that the unconscious of present-day man, who no longer feels at home in his world and can base his existence neither on the past that is no more nor on the future that is yet to be, should hark back to the symbol of the cosmic tree rooted in this world and growing up to heaven––the tree that is also man. In the history of symbols this tree is described as the way of life itself, a growing into that which eternally is and does not change; which springs from the union of opposites and, by its eternal presence, also makes that union possible. It seems as if it were only through an experience of symbolic reality that man, vainly seeking his own 'existence' and making a philosophy out of it, can find his way back to a world in which he is no longer a stranger."